awkward

i have a problem keeping up with my blog. you see, i get carried away and then i fall off the wagon. stay tuned for a great post where i count down the best videos of the year/all time. or something.

until then, here are some bichon puppies in a bucket.

Beyonce's Thighs

You may recognize this from Beyonce's 'Sweet Dreams' video - a video where Beyonce does nothing but gyrate. I slowed this clip down by 25% so that people may learn this freak dance move if they really felt an intense need (hint: I feel an intense need).

worlds collide

i hate the big superimposed faces, i hate that lady gaga is trying to be 'sexy,' and i think the dancers with SLR heads are kind of scary. other than that, im in love a lil.

today in the (bath) haus of gaga

Coming to you straight from This Viral Life is the premiere of Lady Gaga's video for Bad Romance! Lady Gaga chose this blog to debut her newest video because she is 'just steph to me...'

but srsly...

After watching this three times, I am still trying to wrap my head around it. Clearly I was wrong when I said Lady Gaga was in an Asylum... she is just in the bath haus of gaga. Obviously. And we do see her face (sometimes)! We also see some extremely severe gold heels, a bearskin rug set ablaze, awkward zombie dancing, a creepy hairless kitty, the metal globe from her SNL performance, and a famished caged gaga. Also, sparks fly from her breasts! Is it better than Paparazzi? I don't know yet, but I'm still obsessed.

in which i discuss shakira's new video

it may come as no surprise that i am obsessed with shakira. while this obsession is fairly recent, but it is only getting more intense. while the choreography in the she wolf video was pretty retarded, this mattress dance sequence is graceful and intriguing and downright sexy. the foreign drummers and the steam room scenes are simps and steamy. the only problem is that shakira orgasms for literally half the song. is that really necessary? we get the point, shakira.

a dictionary for you

here are some phrases i use often, although many people outside my group of friends do not know what they mean. this creates a bit of tension in the workplace. here is a helpful guide!


"sheer" - the act of being tacky, outrageous, trashy, or any combination of the three
"ridic" - ridiculous
"simps & typs" - simple & typical, can be used separately
"steez" - style
"situ" - situation
"dubs oc" - out of control. otherwise known as OOC or double oc
"kiki d" or "kiki" or "kiks & deeks" - drunk, originally taken from perez hilton's name for kirsten dunst (kiki drunkst)
"obvs" - obviously
"ovs" - over it
"BTDubs" - By the way
"whatevs" - whatever
"totes" - totally, although im sort of ovs this phrase by now because it got picked up and shiz...
"nbd" - no big deal
"hein" - heinous
"chi-mo" - child molester, often used to describe an ugly moustache. Use it in a sentence? "The DJ at Savalas has a chi-mo 'stache" (see pic below)

An Open Letter to Leighton Meester (pt. 2)

Leighton, you are so pretty. I don't care how horrible this song is. I take everything back. You may be wearing too much makeup, you may be wearing some sort of 6th avenue stripper outfit in the back of a towncar, but you are still hanging in there.