I troll the internet to bring you the most urgent news.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Beyonce's Thighs

You may recognize this from Beyonce's 'Sweet Dreams' video - a video where Beyonce does nothing but gyrate. I slowed this clip down by 25% so that people may learn this freak dance move if they really felt an intense need (hint: I feel an intense need).

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

worlds collide

i hate the big superimposed faces, i hate that lady gaga is trying to be 'sexy,' and i think the dancers with SLR heads are kind of scary. other than that, im in love a lil.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

today in the (bath) haus of gaga

Coming to you straight from This Viral Life is the premiere of Lady Gaga's video for Bad Romance! Lady Gaga chose this blog to debut her newest video because she is 'just steph to me...'

but srsly...

After watching this three times, I am still trying to wrap my head around it. Clearly I was wrong when I said Lady Gaga was in an Asylum... she is just in the bath haus of gaga. Obviously. And we do see her face (sometimes)! We also see some extremely severe gold heels, a bearskin rug set ablaze, awkward zombie dancing, a creepy hairless kitty, the metal globe from her SNL performance, and a famished caged gaga. Also, sparks fly from her breasts! Is it better than Paparazzi? I don't know yet, but I'm still obsessed.

in which i discuss shakira's new video

it may come as no surprise that i am obsessed with shakira. while this obsession is fairly recent, but it is only getting more intense. while the choreography in the she wolf video was pretty retarded, this mattress dance sequence is graceful and intriguing and downright sexy. the foreign drummers and the steam room scenes are simps and steamy. the only problem is that shakira orgasms for literally half the song. is that really necessary? we get the point, shakira.

Monday, November 9, 2009

a dictionary for you

here are some phrases i use often, although many people outside my group of friends do not know what they mean. this creates a bit of tension in the workplace. here is a helpful guide!

"sheer" - the act of being tacky, outrageous, trashy, or any combination of the three
"ridic" - ridiculous
"simps & typs" - simple & typical, can be used separately
"steez" - style
"situ" - situation
"dubs oc" - out of control. otherwise known as OOC or double oc
"kiki d" or "kiki" or "kiks & deeks" - drunk, originally taken from perez hilton's name for kirsten dunst (kiki drunkst)
"obvs" - obviously
"ovs" - over it
"BTDubs" - By the way
"whatevs" - whatever
"totes" - totally, although im sort of ovs this phrase by now because it got picked up and shiz...
"nbd" - no big deal
"hein" - heinous
"chi-mo" - child molester, often used to describe an ugly moustache. Use it in a sentence? "The DJ at Savalas has a chi-mo 'stache" (see pic below)

An Open Letter to Leighton Meester (pt. 2)

Leighton, you are so pretty. I don't care how horrible this song is. I take everything back. You may be wearing too much makeup, you may be wearing some sort of 6th avenue stripper outfit in the back of a towncar, but you are still hanging in there.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

this week in the haus of gaga

sorry i haven't "blogged." i've been busy doing "real life things."
but when something needs to be blogged, i will blog about it.


take a look at this 28 seconds of sheerness. i have a feeling this one is going to be great. so far we know:

1. lady gaga lost her face. she is dancing in some sort of KKK inspired unitard that leaves only her mouth exposed
2. lady gaga is in a bad romance.
3. lady gaga takes a dangerous drink

there are questions left unanswered!
is lady gaga in an asylum? is lady gaga going to 'off herself' like she did at the VMA's?

Monday, November 2, 2009

is will.i.am a terrorist?

i am trying to figure out what this video is all about. i think will.i.am is trying to find fergie, so he rides a leather elephant to get into her rainforest. but why is he dressed like a terrorist? and why is he a genie? or is he a robot? and is fergie really a fairy? did they just reuse the set from the britney speakers perfume commercial?

someone answer me!